TEAC+801

= **Noddings - Chapter 5** = = = = = = **Parenting** =

// “No task is more challenging and potentially more rewarding than parenting. Few of us use academic mathematics as adults, but most of us become parents. Yet, our schools require all students to study algebra and geometry, but they rarely offer serious courses – or even units of study – on parenting. The assumption has long been that young people will learn how to be parents at home – from their own parents.” (119) // // “We know that academic success is highly correlated with socioeconomic status, and it may be that certain parenting practices are also related to. Or affected by, that status” (119) // // “…we are not faced with an either-or choice. We could teach parenting and encourage students to study important academic subjects.” (120) //

=**Infants and Childcare**= “If people can read, they can find the instruction and advice they need. So! The schools should concentrate on teaching everyone to read… there is a disconcerting body of evidence that few people ever read a book after high school; the percentage may be as low as 50 percent…” (120-121)

What should be taught: - Infant care basics (eggs are not enough) - Psychology if childrearing - Adult-Child Interaction: Authoritarian styles and **Communication** “Communication seems to be fundamental. When parents are genuinely happy to see their kids at the end of the school/work day and engage them as equals in conversation, relations are strengthened…” (123) - Cultural Differences in Parenting Style - Parent’s Role in Homework: To supervise or not… - History of Childhood – and bringing the Intellectual and Practical Life Together: Views on childhood throughout the ages, and the emergence of academic experts in the field

=**Motherhood and Its Cares**= “Lessons on infant and childcare would be incomplete without the discussion of the trials and satisfactions of childhood.” (128)

“Many of the attitudes toward motherhood in the West today can be traced to our Victorian heritage. Mothers – pure, unselfish, forever giving and suffering – were extolled in literature written by men…” (128)

Man must be pleased; but him to please Is woman's pleasure; down the gulf Of his condoled necessities She casts her best, she flings herself. How often flings for nought, and yokes Her heart to an icicle or whim, Whose each impatient word provokes Another, not from her, but him; While she, too gentle even to force His penitence by kind replies, Waits by, expecting his remorse, With pardon in her pitying eyes; And if he once, by shame oppress'd, A comfortable word confers, She leans and weeps against his breast, And seems to think the sin was hers; And whilst his love has any life, Or any eye to see her charms, At any time, she's still his wife, Dearly devoted to his arms; She loves with love that cannot tire; And when, ah woe, she loves alone, Through passionate duty love springs higher, As grass grows taller round a stone. “They should, however, be informed about the history of motherhood and have opportunities to reflect on their own values and hopes.” (129) - Physicians and Theologians weighed in on motherhood and childbirth - History of ambivalence “…but we can move in the right direction by informing young people and helping them to understand that childrearing can be trying and exhausting, that motherhood is not adequately captured in the romantic literature, that it is forgivable to lose one’s temper (so long as no real harm is done), and that it is acceptable to seek help when one’s emotional health becomes shaky.” (130-131)
 * THE ANGEL IN THE HOUSE ** By Coventry Patmore

=**The Literature of Childhood**= One of the most delightful tasks of parenthood is reading to and with children.” (132)

“Schools could redesign the English curriculum so that one or two semesters in high school would be devoted to the literature of childhood.” (132) - A time to revisit childhood literature - An introduction to childhood literature - Merge stories with disciplines (fairytales and psychology) - Stories with morals (Aesop) “Time should be spent on illustrated books – particularly those for young children” (134) - Point out colors, shapes, sizes, et cetera.

“Reading together should be a pleasure, and it should strengthen the adult-child bond, but it is also an unsurpassed way to learn all sorts of things.” (135)

=**Guidance and Respect**= “Reading together is a fine way to start conversations that provide both guidance and respect. Parents have an obligation to guide the moral growth of their children…” (137) - Mealtime

- There should be a loving informality for regular conversation in overscheduled households…
 * Question:** When do parents and children engage in conversation?

“Students should be encouraged to think about how families teach responsibility.” (139) - Parent-centered vs Child-centered Advice

“Critical lessons on parenting must address certain problems.” (142) - TV time - Overeating - Exercise - Drugs (history of, abuse of, et cetera) - Drinking - Abstinence (drugs, sex, and alcohol)

“Among the many problems facing today’s parents is how to promote the education of their children.” (144) - Homework - Economic Resources - Current emphasis on competition, standardization, and the accumulation of trivial knowledge

“Our discussion of parenting is far from complete…” (146) In the book… and society…